Even though I'm an introvert, I'm not much a thinker. I don't proactively think to myself or plan things out in my head. I don't talk to myself at all really. Like OK I'm going to do this and this today. And oh yeah I should go blah blah. I don't even know if that's what people think about because my mind doesn't do any of that. It's very quiet. It is very clear. I use the word clear but lately it feels more empty.
I usually have songs stuck in my head. This song is stuck in there now if you want to join the party. But I don't know. One of the reasons I enjoy writing is because it was like a release for my brain. To say the things I'm not saying. Since I'm not a super talkative person and since I'm not talking to myself in my head much at all, writing was a way for me to clear the rafters. I needed to freestyle and talk it out by clacking the ol' keyboard with my thoughts.
I recently or semi-recently stopped talking to two of my oldest friends. Two of my closer friends. And while it's for the best for my personal life (not going to rag on them or get into specifics because it's not necessary), but it's just created more emotional isolation. And I'm probably filling the gaps left over with habits that I don't want to talk about because they don't make for polite conversation.
I'm controlling the message here. I'm leaving out a lot of things. The fact that I'm not even telling you (or bragging) about the last 2ish weeks should earn me some kind of award. And wow, that second link makes two links in one blog. Isn't that exciting? "Two Links in One Blog" would be a great name for a MMF threesome blog. But, I digress...
It's sad that I don't even feel like I can be transparent in my own blog. But maybe it's best we all have something hidden away within ourselves. Leaves something behind to be discovered. Something to be wondered about.